Simple Lies
by Shaitanah
Summary: There are so many things Light wants to know about L, and only one that L wants to know about him. LightL, Light POV. Please R&R!


**Title**: "Simple Lies"

**Author**: Shaitanah

**Rating**: R

**Summary**: There are so many things Light wants to know about L, and only one that L wants to know about him. Light/L; Light POV Please R&R!

**Disclaimer**: _Death Note _belongs to Ohba Tsugumi and Obata Takeshi. The lyrics used in the story are taken from the song 'Simple Lies' by Endo.

**A/N**: It's my first Light/L fic. The first written but not the first posted. Now I finally completed it)))

* * *

**SIMPLE LIES**

Silently waiting

For a moment with you

As I tie you into nothing.

Understand my hate for you…

* * *

With all the pastries he's consumed in his entire life, I wonder what L would taste like. What started out as innocent curiosity (forget about the fact that curiosity can kill), is swiftly growing into obsession. I hate being chained to L. This position makes me vulnerable, and it's probably the one thing I, Yagami Light, truly, deeply loathe.

Sitting by the cubicle while L is showering, I listen to the sound of falling water. It's like static, the infamous 'white noise'. It's buzzing in my skull and somewhere in the thickness of it there is Ryuuzaki. I can see his slim form vaguely through the dim plastic of the cubicle. My mouth runs dry.

I wipe my sweaty hand against my trousers, sweeping it over the crotch… Pretty sure _that_ was an accident. It's too hot in the bathroom. I kick the wall of the cubicle with my foot lightly to hurry L up. And when L finally emerges, steam rolling in heavy puffs around him, I tactfully look away, giving him privacy. What bothers me is that L doesn't deem necessary to hide anything whereas in truth he is the most secretive person I have ever met. L is the kind of man that carries anything to an extreme. If he's insomniac he forgets everyone else needs to sleep. If he's hungry he won't hesitate to drag me out of bed for a cake and a cup of tea with a pile of sugar cubes. If he takes a shower, it means that it's impossible to breathe in the bathroom.

I watch the steam roll back. The mirror has grown misted. As the surface slowly becomes clear again, I can see L's enormous dark eyes glimmer very close to me. L looks at our reflections over my shoulder and asks with his usual slightly puzzled expression:

"Something on your mind, Light-kun?"

"Not really," I reply vaguely. "I was just wondering, Ryuuzaki. If we have already determined that I'm not Kira, at least not anymore, why do we still need the chain?"

"Hmm," L murmurs incoherently.

We walk back into the room where I slump heavily on the sofa while Ryuuzaki accommodates himself in his customary chair. His fingers flit swiftly over the keyboard. I can't see the screen of his laptop clearly, but I have a full view of his back. His shoulders hunched, his shoulder-blades move leisurely whenever he leans forward. I watch his back relax when he sits back and form a question mark again when he shifts slightly and turns to meet my gaze. I keep my face blank when in truth I'm wondering if he's giving more thought to my question. I don't have to wonder. L never stops thinking. He's a machine more than a man. If he didn't think all the time, he simply would stop functioning.

He's like me. In so many ways that it's almost alarming.

"We have indeed agreed upon that you might have been Kira in the past, perhaps unconsciously," he says thoughtfully. "We have come to a conclusion that you might not be Kira for the time being. However, I have never said that it's improbable for you to become Kira again."

It's my turn to snort.

L practically falls out of the chair and drags his feet over to the sofa. I move to give him space. He's barefoot as always. The fabric of his jeans stretches slightly against his knees as he pulls his legs up and bares his prominent ankle-bones for an instant. Then it slides back and covers his feet completely.

I can't take my eyes off him. L consists of those simple smooth actions like an apparatus consists of circuits and wire.

I end up wondering what if…

There is a brief period of complete and utter stillness when the room feels suddenly empty and too big just for the two of us. L grabs a sugar cube, dips it into the tea and places it between his lips. And right after that I can't help but wonder when the hell I've stopped finishing my sentences. Even though they're in my head.

Interesting. I'm analyzing again. I could never analyze L properly, though. That's not a bad thing; my inability to understand him (or my ability to understand him perfectly on some subconscious level when we're at work) is what makes me so fond of him in some twisted way. Somehow L is just a perfect competition.

He turns around, the sugar cube still clasped between his lips, and bends over the elbow-rest. He feels about the floor for something; his soft sweater slides upwards and I can see a pale line of his skin underneath. I lean forth wordlessly. I breathe in the faint aroma of soap that clings to his body.

I brush my lips against that piece of skin. L exhales softly. His skin feels wonderfully soft and warm. I close my eyes and flick my tongue ever so gently over the base of his spine. I'd pay to see his face now. His eyes are probably wide open; he rolls the sugar cube in his mouth, and it slowly melts over his tongue. He makes a small wheezing sound that ends in a quiet gasp as I lick my path down and stop at the small of his back.

"Don't choke on it, please," I smile against his skin. "I wouldn't want you to die like this."

"Of course," Ryuuzaki draws out breathlessly. "Kira's methods are far more subtle."

"Haven't we been through this?" My fingers crawl underneath his sweater. "I think we both know what it's about. You just don't like it when things are out of your control. You're too selfish, Ryuuzaki, right? I think…" I like the way his skin tastes. Not so sweet underneath the scent and the taste of soap and hot water. Maybe inside L is as bitter as I am, and all the sweets he consumes can't neutralize that. "You want me…"

He turns around rapidly. At the same time I push upwards and press myself hard against his body, positioning myself between his legs. I place my palm flat on his lap to keep him from shifting as much as I can. I like how ambiguous what I've just said sounds. He eyes me warily as if trying to figure out whether I have more to say.

That's what L and I do all the time: try to figure each other out.

I brush his inner thigh with my fingers. He gives me _the_ look. With L, it's just his two large eyes watching you as if trying to see through you. It's somewhat unnerving for a lesser man. Fortunately, I'm not one.

I touch him through the rough fabric of his jeans. He's probably trying to analyze my conduct.

"Like I said, you _want_ me," I repeat and rub myself almost subconsciously against his leg as my fingers continue to glide up and down his inner thigh, "to be Kira. You hate making mistakes, don't you? Quite understandable."

He moans softly as I nuzzle his face and grind my hand harder against him. It costs me a lot not to burst into laughter. This is the weirdest relationship I've had so far. I want to know what he's like behind the mask of polite neutrality, yet something stops me from looking deeper.

He opens his mouth; his breath is soft and warm and sugar-scented on my cheek. No man without a fault, right, Ryuuzaki? I lift my hand, let the cool links of the chain brush his shoulder. I can see that he's holding back. Like I asked for it! I need no one to go easy on me.

He leans into me and catches my lips in a quick kiss that is almost too harsh compared with his usual liquid movements. I know I'm looking into his dark side now. He bites my lips and grasps a fistful of my shirt. I gasp into his mouth. I run my fingers through his unkempt hair and breathe out slowly against his neck. His mouth is very sweet, pure sugar.

"Are you playing along?" I wonder. "To see how far I might go? I can go," I lick the edge of his ear and laugh on the inside as he twitches lightly, "all the way."

To my delight, he gives me a classic "wanna bet?" look. It's funny how we can turn _everything_ into a race. I didn't even know I had it in me, so much anger, so much desire.

We end up in a fairly unimaginable entanglement of limbs of the floor, licking, nipping, biting, stroking. What I haven't expected is him inside of me, causing a violent surge of pleasure to sweep through me. My mind goes numb. I want it, I want it, I _want_ it. _I want him_.

I can almost hear what he's thinking. I can almost see it. And knowing that I'm not the man he's after, I almost wish I were. That way I could have been so much more than him.

As I button my shirt absent-mindedly I can tell that he's watching me even more intently. Suddenly it makes me feel uncomfortable.

"Tell me, Light-kun," he whispers softly. "Can you see the future? Can you see where all this is going?"

I ponder his question, then rub my eyes tiredly and say:

"I can see where I am going. To bed." And then, before I actually realize how ambiguous it sounds, I call out to him: "You coming?"

L smiles. Why does that frighten me?

"What if I told you my name now?" he asks suddenly. Taken aback, I stare at him, hoping my surprise is not showing more than it should. "If you're not Kira, then this piece of information is entirely useless for you. So I don't have anything to worry about."

I frown. In some cultures to know a man's name is to know his essence. What he's made of. But I'm not Kira, and I don't really need Ryuuzaki's name. I'm not Kira, yet I know how he thinks: and both Kira and I should say 'no' to that.

"I'm sorry, Ryuuzaki," I smile and try to mimic his intonations: "That piece of information is entirely useless."

* * *

Simple lies  
Are what we are,  
And what we have  
Won't hurt anymore…

_October – December 26, 2007_


End file.
